Camping this weekend.

So this weekend, my friends and I are camping. So I won't be around after tonight. I feel like it is close enough to the end of the month that I can skip days on my blogging. Not sure if anyone is reading anyway. I really need to work on my new fic tonight so I feel like I have accomplished SOMETHING fic wise this week.

HOPE EVERYONE HAS A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!

I'm too emo

This week has been a roller coaster of feelings. I am constantly up and down. I listened to a song today that we played at my mom's funeral.


 The Perfect Fan lyrics

It takes a lot to know what is love
It's not the big thing but the little things
That can mean enough
A lot of players to get me through
There is never a day that passes by
I don't think of you
You were always there for me
Pushing me and guiding me
Always to succeed

You showed me
When i was young just how to grow
You showed me everything that i should know
You showed me just how to walk without your hands
'Cause mom you always were the perfect fan

God has been so good
With blessing me with the family
Who did all they could
And I've had many years of Grace
And it flatters me when i see a smile on your face
I wanna thank you for what you've done
In hopes I can give back to you
And be the perfect son

You showed me
When i was young just how to grow
You showed me everything that i should know
You showed me just how to walk without your hands
'Cause mom you always were the perfect fan

You showed me how to love
You showed me how to care
And showed me that you would always be there
I wanna thank you for the time
And i'm proud to say you're mine

You showed me
When i was young just how to grow
You showed me everything that i should know
You showed me just how to walk without your hands
'Cause mom you always were the perfect fan

'Cause Mom you always were, Mom you always were
Mom you always were...the perfect fan

I Love You Mom

Blog #2 today!!

I really want to motivate myself to make the changes I need to in my life. I still feel in a complete rut. But now that the new TV season has started. I feel I will never get anything done. Tuesday nights are going to be crazy. Glee, One Tree Hill, and NCIS all come on at 7, and I don't have DVR. I guess I will be watching NCIS episodes on line. I need to get all my shows form last season in my queue at Netflix. I am such a TV junkie. I need to go make my nightly show list.

Later peeps!!
<3 ME

Let's talk reviews!!

So I forgot to blog yesterday. I will be catching up with 2 today.

No to my topic--REVIEWS!!

All writers love them. They motivate you and let you know what your reader is thinking. I have never gotten a whole lot of reviews, but it has been steady enough. Lately I have felt really down about everything. I'm not sure if I am getting my point across. This is mainly because I don't get enough reviews. My new chapter has two reviews that say "Poor Bella" and "Good" Not that is encouraging. Even my Instant Star fic doesn't get reviews like it used to. I feel I have lost too many readers a long the way. I guess I will just keep writing for me and posting and just see how it turns out.

That's all for now. Later!!

It's Sunday

So, last night was a night out with my friends. I had a blast, but when I got home was when I start feeling the lonelies. All my friends are married and they have someone to go home with. And I usual I just go home alone. Maybe I am picky, but I just wish I could find that guy that just everything clicks with. Maybe I read too much fanfiction.

It's Sunday and I plan on getting some laundry done, read some Harry Potter, and might even start the movies while I read.

Happy Saturday!!

I have done nothing but be lazy all day! I have so much to do, but just didn't feel like doing anything. I'll just work on it tomorrow. I am trying my best to have a stressless weekend.

my family

What a week. So glad it is finally Friday!!

This is my family blog. You all know I lost my mom several years ago and you know about my two wonderful nieces.

On to the rest of my family. The relationship with my dad is really interesting. He and I are a lot alike so we fight a lot. But help each other out when we can. He does the best he can, I know, but I wish he would try just a little bit more. My mom always called him a bear because he's a bit on the grumpy side. It only gets worse with age. But I love him; he's my daddy.

Then there is my brother. He is 4 and a half years older than me and his family live near Memphis. I actually don't get to see them often because it's hard to drop everything and go to their house. they don't come here at all. I'm really not sure what he's deal is, but it's been nearly two years since he's ever been in my dad's house. He's very complicated. I'm never sure if he is ashamed of where he came from or it is too hard for him to be there.

Now there is my sister in law. When they got together, I imagined she and I would have a great relationship and be like best friends. DIDN'T HAPPEN!! She's great and I love her; we just never formed the great friendship I wanted with her.

So that's my family. I wish we all were closer, but with out my mom around, relationships fall through the cracks.

HAPPY WEEKEND EVERYONE <3

What a week

I really have been having a hard week. I just feel exhausted. So I will just leave some love again. Maybe next week, my blog ideas will be back.

This is my LOVE post!!

Some days my frineds in the fandom blow me away, and this is to all of them. I'm not good at naming everyone, but they know who they are.

A recipe

Found this online. One day I will make it.

CHICKEN SPAGHETTI WITH VELVEETA

4 boneless chicken breast
8oz Velveeta
1 can Rotel
1 can Cream of Mushroom
1 package spaghetti
milk
salt
pepper
garlic

Boil chicken (Cooks Note: for more tender chicken, don't boil; simmer slowly over low heat instead). Drain broth into a bowl and reserve.

Boil spaghetti according to package directions.

Cut chicken into bite-sized pieces.

Combine: chicken, spaghetti, Cream of Mushroom, Rotel (not the whole can), salt, pepper, garlic.

Melt Velveeta in microwave. Stir in milk, just enough to make it as creamy as desired.

Combine Velveeta with remaining ingredients, season to taste and serve.

Monday Blahs

I have a case of the Monday blahs and have no idea what to blog about today. I seriously feel like I am talking to myself with this, but I plan to keep it up. Tomorrow I will try to have something blog worthy.

Why I write fanfiction

Several years ago I had a story floating through my head and it just kept growing. I had to get it on paper. It was horrible and didn't really make any sense. That was like 17-18 years ago when I was a freshman in high school. Over the years I have really grown as a writer and every time an idea gets stuck in my head I have to write it.

I probably have about 10 notebooks of stories I wrote through college. Those are very personal and were written just for me to deal with issues I needed to work out. Only my college roommate has read them all. I have had a few friends here and there to read some. But everyone doesn't understand what FanFiction is, and think its weird.

I have read fanfiction for so many years, in so many different fandoms. And Sometimes I get ideas that I haven't seen anyone else write, so I start writing them myself. I have two completed stories on FFN in the Instant Stat section and one WIP. I also have started a Twific that I need to update. Recently I have come up with two more twific ideas that I need to develop a little more before I type them up and post.

It is a creative outlet for me. I am not creative enough to come up with my own characters; I've tried and it was never pretty. So with fanfiction, the characters already exist. You just twist them to fit your story.

Now with that being said I better run to get some writing done.

9/11

..........

I feel like every time we turn around, someone young dies in my community. I didn't really know this one, but I have friends who did. The lost of young life is always sad. Tonight I just want to say a prayer for all the families who have suffered loosing someone way too early in life.

I miss crushes.

It has been forever since I had a crush on anyone. This dry spell really sucks. The last guy I kissed, I did it just to do it. It wasn't that good. When I was younger I really thought I'd be married with kids by the time I was 31. But everyday I get closer and closer to 32 and I am still single. ALL my friends are either married or in serious relationships. I really want to scream sometimes. I want to find that guy that makes me feel good about myself. I know you have to love your self before someone can love you.

That brings me to that fact that I need to do a whole lifestyle change. From my diet to how I live. I need to get more sleep and I need to be more active. I really think this is important for my well being. We'll see if I have any luck.

<3 Me

Some days I slip

I have days were I feel like I am slipping away from happiness. I realize where I am in life and wish I was somewhere else. I wish I was in a different stage of my life. Today was one of those days. While at work I couldn't bring myself to actually work. I didn't want to be there so bad that I mentally wasn't. I have been doing the job search for a while now, and the past two weeks I have been stuck because my aunt has been sick. She owns the company, but I run things. I don't want to run a company where EVERYTHING is on my shoulders. I want a job that I go to everyday and get a steady paycheck at the end of the week. I want to get myself in a position where I can be financially stable again. But working part time running my aunts company isn't going to do that for me.

Tonight I plan to escape the reality of my going NO WHERE life and write. I have an idea I really want to run with. Well, see how it goes.

<3
Me

I almost forgot

I can't beleive I almost forgot to blog today. I don't really have a whole lot to say. I have been sucked into reading a certain fic, and can't do much when I am focused on reading. I will leave you with pretty pictures.

the princess

The baby

HAPPY LABOR DAY!!

Today's blog will be pics of my nieces. (Funny story... I forgot to reset the date on my digital camera and so now all my pics from yesterday say 06/11/2005 instead of 09/05/2010.)

Busy day!!

Today was the birthday party for the 3 year old. So it has been a BUSY day. Still at my brother's until in the morning. Didn't want to miss a day in my blog.

My niece was so funny opening her presents. And the present I got her was a BIG hit. A play electric guitar. I was so excited that she LOVED it.

I have pics I will post after I get back home!!

Saturday is finally here!!

I am very excited that it is Saturday!! I started this blog so I could share a bit of the real me, but today I want to share the fic me. I have so many ideas running through my head. I have a current Instant Star fic that I am trying to get an update ready for. It's hard to get the emotions just right for this chapter. I hope to sit down in a bit and it will just come to me.

Then I have a twi fic that needs to be worked on. Plus two more ideas for AH fics. I just need the time to really sit down and write. But I am really self conscience about my writing because I don't get a whole lot of feed back. I know I will never have a award nominated fic, but I just want more reviews.

I better get to work.

My FFN profile

Happy Friday.

Well, this has been a very long week, and I am glad I am at the last day. I need a good weekend to relax. And since Monday is Labor Day, I get a nice long 3 day weekend. I think I want to get some serious writing done this weekend. I have ideas running through my head that needs to be on paper.

As today's blog I was going to share some videos, but I can't embed youtube videos here, or I can't figure out how. BOO.

So I will just wish everyone a safe and happy weekend. If you live in the US have a nice holiday. 

I will still continue my blog through the weekend as NaBloPoMo!! #3 down!!

September 2nd

So today is my nieces 3rd birthday. Three years ago we weren't sure poor thing was even going to make it. First it took my sister in law forever to even get pregnant. She went through treatments for months before they had to do AI. To insure it took, they did two. They both took but the other baby only made it maybe 8 weeks. The whole pregnancy was high risk.

Reagan was born at 30 weeks and only weighed 2lbs and 15oz. Such a tiny little think.

Being early and small wasn't her only problem. She was born with Tracheoesophageal fistula: An abnormal passage between the esophagus and trachea. Also associated with Esophageal atresia: A incomplete formation of the esophagus. Luckily it could be fixed by surgery, but she had to get up to 4lbs before the operation. And afterwards she had to have a feeding tube in her stomach.

She was in LeBonheur Children's Medical Center in Memphis for over three months. On Nov. 22, 2007, the night before thanksgiving, the were able to bring her home. It was a difficult few months for them because the poor thing still couldn't get all her feedings through a bottle.

The first year was tough, but by her first birthday, you'd never know anything was wrong with her when she was born. You can't really even see the scar on her tummy where her tube used to be. She is a normal and happy little girl.

First Bday

2nd Bday

Sure the doctor's say she'll always cough more than other children and she came down with a case of pneumonia earlier this year. Today on her 3rd birthday she is our family's little miracle child. I always knew my mom was watching out for us. She wasn't ready to have her grand baby with her in heaven.

And by the way my brother and sister in law have an almost 6 month old now too. The had no complications with getting pregnant or other wise with the second baby. They are one lucky couple.

Reagan with baby sister Kylie in April

Bday party is Sunday. I'll post more pics next week.

HAPPY NaBloPoMo!!!

So it is national blog posting month. That means I need to to post everyday in the month of Sept. Let's see if I can do this. Of course I don't think anyone is reading this but we'll see.


So my last blog I said I would give more back ground on me in this post, so here we go. I was born and raised in a very small town in Tennessee. There is not a lot here, but we try to make the best of it. My parents did the best they could raising me and my brother. My mother passed away when I was 21. Some days it hurts like it was just yesterday. I still miss her with every fiber of my being.

I went to college about an hour away, so it was easy to get home to see my family. After my mom was gone, I hated coming home. After college I moved to Murfreesboro, TN for two years. I loved it there, but I had NO social life. I worked and sat at home in my apartment by myself every night. I ended up moving back home because I hated being 3 hours away from my dad.

So now for a little over 4 years, I have been back in my home town. I have the BEST group of friends. I actually have a decent social life. I don't know what I would do without the friends I have made in the last 4 years. Here's me with two of my bff's at my 30th bday party. They threw me one heck of a party, too.

I am single. Sometimes it drives me crazy, but I LOVE my independence. I don't know what I will do when I have to give that up.

Okay That is pretty much it for today. Tomorrow is my nieces 3rd bday. I will post some pics and tell you all about her then.